Don’t panic! please… – M. Bilal Shaikh – Audio Vine in Urdu/Hindi – 2016

M. Bilal Shaikh
Speaker l Trainer l Writer

 

 

Is it facebook or Fakebook?

Is it facebook or Fakebook?
Facebook has deteriorated our life styles and caged our mindsets!

 

The Cause and Effect

Almost every individual in this global village aged between 12-42 years old struggles between balancing his life in reality and at social media. Somehow, it is true that “Logout is the hardest button to click”.  We sit on the same floor but we remain in other worlds, we share parties and gathering together but we keep on using our cell phones, we visit natural sights and places but rather to feel it we get engaged in taking pictures and sharing them immediately on facebook so that others will come to know so they may either like or ignore. Rather doing something good for people, we get more engaged in colors of self-image or more like selfishness. Relationships, Life Style, Education, Psychology, Physiology and Motivation is badly disturbed by excessive usage of Facebook in recent time.

80% people confess that excessive usage of facebook impacts on relationships as well. Many couples’ engagements, marriages have been effected or broken due to pretending what are they are not or showing their inner mindset to others. It is also observed in many cases that people really don’t want to prolong with you if you un-friend them in any relationship.

It seems that we have prioritized the facebook more than our personal matters. It is not necessary to share everything on facebook as well as what your friend is up to, causing less love and more hate, less unity and more jealousy. I also learned that many people use facebook to kill time which has significant worth in life which shows that either they are broken, rotten or just free (No vision for life).

Like others, I have been influenced by this flare of facebook in past. In this blog, I have discussed issues, causes, treatment and precaution to keep a good balancing life, discovering yourself and being helpful for others than to ruin it in the trance of facebooking only.

 

Lessons from the Recent Past

I didn’t come to know about my other skills and instincts which were fading away if I hadn’t limited or abandoned facebook or boycott social media in recent time. Abandoning or less or justified usage of facebook has brought massive results overall in my life. I have learned my lessons and as social responsibility, I would like to share with all to propagate the word.

Well, in order to learn and diagnose why sometimes we are so lethargic and disoriented from actual vision of life, we really have to figure out what is wrong that causing hiatus in our personal and professional development by giving time and commitment to ourselves. I tried to treat and deal with it, started last year where the subject was I and other friends.
“If you can’t control your addiction of facebooking, it will lead you to certain psychological and physiological conditions i.e. personality disorder, low self esteem, complexity, severe health conditions, mood swings, etc”.
Since, I had over burdened routine and life style due to work, job, and friends circle with spending too much time on facebook and other social platforms. Thus, I usually used to say that 24 hours were quite less for me in execution of quality life and work so the solution was either I had to stretch 24 hours to 36 hours or improve my lifestyle.

It is known that in a day, average person spends 3-4 hours/day minimum on social media with or without purpose where keeping conversation in FB Messenger as well as Whatsapp in parallel. Anyways, the burden was so hot that I had to give up temporarily from all social media including Twitter, Facebook and Instagram for 1 month. Eventually, here the twist began, the day I left these platforms, the first thing I felt, it was like, “Free from massive burden”, my mind was relaxed and I was able to carry out my tasks, job and other social works more effectively. 24 hours were quite enough for me.

After 1 month observation of abandoning FB, I experienced positive change and I was happy with it but I thought to get connected with social world as one cannot lag behind in this fast moving era. So I activated it again, I was more careful in starting but within weeks, the FB had me again with almost old same routine. I am certain that it must have been happening to many people as facebook is so interactive and vast that it consumes much time.

After struggling with it for a month, I did the same, deactivated it again and this practice kept on going for at least 2 or 3 times. But this whole process left me to understand many things and need of being on social media all the time. It was like massive experience and worth learning for me so if we really want to make words into actions, at least we will have to limit our social platforms, otherwise our words will be just words!
“The usage of facebook without a concrete purpose is similar to taking medication without any direction of doctors, causing massive poison in body, sometimes it is irrecoverable”.

 

The Diagnosis & Operation

So what was the treatment? The treatment was lying within me; I asked myself few questions that everybody must ask to diagnose the issue:
a) How was my life when I was not using facebook?
b) Am I excessively indulged into FB world? If so, is there any need of it?
c) What’s my purpose or objective of using it? Professional or Business need or Chatting or Cheating.
d) Am I beneficial for the society and people on FB?
e) Do I feel happier to share things on facebook than sharing it in real time with my family and friends?
f) Do I really need to be connected all the time to the facebook or social media?
g) How many true friends I have earned, may be more than 500+ on social media but in reality?
h) Is it necessary to share everything on facebook, If so why?
i) Is it necessary to know everything (Stalking) about our friends by continuously looking into their profiles? If so why?
j) What if I spent same time in swimming, exercise, writing, studying or else, what benefits I could get?
k) What I exactly feel by seeing other successes and achievements, am I becoming victim of low self esteem and inferior complex or learning from them or being more jealous of what they have earned?
l) Do I really care about liking or commenting on friends’ achievements or events or I scroll it down, If so what does it exactly mean to me?
m) With continuous usage of facebook, what recent successes I have made in real world?

The  Treatment & Precautions

There are certain parameters if an individual follows, he may have good control over his routine and can initiate good life style. Also we have to understand that there are people who take advantage from fb in form of setting up business and other forums but in both cases, mediocre and safe usage is essential.

1. If there is no necessary need, uninstall fb from either your cell phones or laptop. Because keeping installed on both platforms engages you for so long. I personally manage my fb works only by laptop, uninstalling from cell phone has focused me to do some productive and good work like drafting this blog 🙂

2. For a common man who uses FB, should limit its usage by keeping hawk eyes on time. 1 hour is far enough in a day if it’s divided in 2 times of checking (morning & night)

3. Unlike and leave all unnecessary pages and group pages, you must be more concerned about yourself and what’s going on in your life. Rather following celebrity, start becoming a celebrity secondly, be the news than to read news.

4. Limit your friends on facebook, add only those to whom you know or trust because the more people you add, more you will be wandering to know. Time is money, use it wisely.

5. Rather poking and stalking into other profiles, focus on your profile, improve and develop in more meaning colors for yourself and for others. Be the helpful tool for society than to be a burden.

6. One of the smart usage of FB is serving others with right causes i.e. education, awareness campaigns, blogging, etc. Do something that gets positive and productive within yourself. Help people around you as it doesn’t need a reason to help anyone.

7. Start planning of virtual business via FB, FB is itself an online and virtual business, many brands have promoted their sales and profits via Fb so why don’t we take advantage of it. Smart brains take maximum advantage from free shops.

8. We must not forget that facebook was designed to connect with loved ones and old friends who are far away not in next room, few steps away or in offices. Care about your personal relations than your social world.
9. It is good to play physical games or sports or gym than to play games on consoles and Apps. Be fit, smart and productive for society.

10. Expand your vision of life, keeping yourself with people who believe in personal leadership, self development and have widened vision of life.

11. And in last, if you feel burdened, stressed and messed up, don’t forget there is always a choice to take a break either isolating or deactivating your FB Account and when you get better, you can activate it. Care about your health first!

Again, it is entirely upon you how you take your life matters seriously. If you are focused to have a good and balanced life, you really need to start thinking about limiting many things in your life for better.

Cheers,

 

M. Bilal Shaikh